"you and i walk a fragile line- i have known it all this time, but i never thought i'd live to see it break."

to start off tonight's blog, i will say that t-swift's new album is amazing, and for me is the best she's ever made. today was actually pretty good. despite the fact that i was up on the phone until 1 am, i woke up in a good mood. i was happy enough to dress decent for once, aka, not jeans and a t-shirt! it doesn't happen very often after the first few weeks of school. my mood just changed completely- I'm terrified of thunder and lightning and storms. my doctor even confirmed that i have mild 'brontophobia'. look it up, it's legit i swear.
--------> here comes the actual interesting part of my blog, at 1 am. NOW, i have something worth writing.

fight for what you believe in , <3

have you ever wanted something you can't have? stupid question i know, but i don't mean material things like new clothes, or a new car. an actual human being. somebody you wanted, or more or less needed in your life? i do now. it's more than just the feeling of being able to be completely real with this person, but the fact that i know no matter what deep down, there will always be a place for him in my heart. it's crazy what a 2 hour phone conversation can do to you. tonight, it changed me a bit.  "you can't care about anything else, it's all just whatever. if you want something just keep fighting for what could happen, look at what it could be not what it might've been." truer words have never been spoken. i'm a natural born competitor, whether it be tennis, soccer, or guys. if i really want a person, as much as i want to be with you, you'd know it. good thing is, after tonight, i'm not giving up. i don't know where this could lead me, you- us. all i know is that i'm going to keep my eye on the fact that it could be something great regardless of some minor factors. nothing stands between us anymore except my own fears. is the second ' i love you' always as awkward as the first?

until next time, xoxo.