"and this is who i am, when i don't know myself anymore."

feed the machine, RED.

listen to that. ^

read the lyrics.

love.

"come on, be honest with ourselves. at some point in our life, we all want to be a super hero."

who am i? I'M KICKASS!

helen koutroulakis, you seriously got me into this movie. this movie is making me feel a little better. but not really. 

once again, my weekend is completely ruined. by my mother. second.friday.night.in.a.row.

NOT COOL.

a;sldkfja;sldkfjas;dlkfjas;dlfkjas;ldfkjas;dlfkjas;dlfkjasd;flkjasd;flkajsd;flkajsdfl;askdjfa;lsdkjfa;lsdkjfa;sldkfja;sldkfja;sldjfa;slkdfja;slkdjfas;ldkfj.

i'm trying not to completely release all my emotions on here, because i feel like that's not the safest thing anymore. 

time for halfandhalf sweet tea and lemonade, ice cream, and this movie. 

pal baseball in the morning to get some good community service in. <3

diediedie.

let me up

my world is spinning

and it just won't stop.

i'm so deep in it

and i've had enough;

i just can't do it again.

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azwedfyou!jdf;alsdkjf

can't even get the words out to express how i feel right now. honestly. there's SO much building up. if only you knew. if only you actually CARED to know. 

really God? come ONNNN. 

allan carter cummings. 

i promise as your aunt 'ginia, i'll always be there for you no matter what. you'll always want to grow up, because i'm right there with you still. but right now, at this very moment, i wish i was little again. when i was too young to be blamed for everything, too young to be the victim of harsh words. i want that again, but i want more than anything to grow up, and leave everything behind. but i promise i'll never leave you buddy. i want you to have somebody to talk to about everything, and trust that they'll understand. even if you don't need to talk ever, i'm still here. i always want to be able to see you smiling and having fun just like i do now, and i want you to grow up free of pain and suffering. i only hope you'll grow up free of scars, the mental ones and the physical ones. i can't stop you from becoming older, but i can help. i love you. <3

69th post, that's what's up.

1st things first: 
happy mother's day, mom. 

all i really know to say is an indefinite thank you for an infinite list of things. 

i love listening to old music, and remembering how much i was obsessed with certain songs back in the day. itunes shuffle is perfect for such things. 

this weekend has been relaxing for the most part. i'm STILL getting used to my new hairdo. occasionally i'll look in the mirror and think i'm wearing a wig. it's sad. OH, and this is for stuart and corey since they weren't at church today- i had to crucifer, and i forgot to wear heels and almost fell flat on my face walking up the stairs in the opening procession. thomas busted out laughing behind me. lovely, right? 

AH, i forgot how amazing t-swift's album is.. awh. memories. <3

i'm sososososo happy that school is almost out. minus having exams soon. which i'm sure to fail. ESPECIALLY ENGLISH. i should be writing the rough draft of my research paper, but hell, it's not due until tuesday. why not wait until the night before? HA. 

i'm obsessed with tumblr and twitter now. nbd.

"she's gonna be somebody's only light, gonna shine tonight. yeaah! she's gonna be somebody's baby, tonight."

and, my obsession with the 80's only grows.. especially with my hair. fits me perfectly. i think getting my haircut is just another step in me being who i really am. showing my inside ..colors, i guess? i'm not quite sure how to word it. slowly but surely, i will gain my mom's approval. even if it's by the time she's on her deathbed, i hope i'll know who i am, so she can see it too, and understand.

xoxo. 

sorry netflix, i'm confused.

poor netflix.. i've changed my mind on what movie to watch 3 times now. started out with growing op, then changed to eat pray love, and thenn dirty dancing. but i decided on good will hunting. it's very good so far.

ah, mother's day tomorrow. church in the morning, and i hope i don't fall asleep during the serviced. sike, i probably will. AND SHEESH, THIS LITTLE FIGHT SCENE IN GOOD WILL HUNTING IS GRUESOME. sorry for that little interruption. matt damon was not at all attactive back in the day.. glad people grow up. so i just embarassed myself by reaching back to scratch the back of my head thinking my hair was in a ponytail.. then realizing my hair is gone. 

mmmm, nachos and peach tea = amazing. 

  

"i said oooh girl."

hey y'all, i gotz myself a tumblr. and i'm in love. but no worries. not leaving blogger. <3

virginiaariail.tumblr.com

so in love with him.

this is, the soundtrack to my life.

almost forgot how much i love kid cudi. <3

i got my hair cut! 

BEFORE:


...

AFTER!

i'm seriously in love with it. i'm happy with it. however, i keep seeing my reflection and being like "WHO DIS?!" and then i realize my hair is short. VERY SHORT. my mom didn't think i'd do it, she thought i'd chicken out.. once again, she's wrong! it's new. and i think it fits me.

"i used to be the kid that no one cared about, that's why you have to keep screamin' till they hear you out."

right now i'm REALLY hating my english class. why must i write a research paper on whether or not i think parents should be responsible for their children's crimes? 

here are some random thoughts at the moment:

1. pandora is playing some pretty sucky songs.

2. fair better not be cooking chicken.

3. i really would like some nerds right now...

4. i'm pretty sure my laptop has a virus. oh well. rex can deal with it.

5. i wish i had a guardian angel.

6. the song written in the stars by tinie tempah is so sweet. it makes me want to cry. <3               ^listen!

7. there's paper on the floor that i REALLY want to pick up, but i'm too lazy to.

8. french 2 is honestly going to be the death of me.

9. I'M SO EXCITED/NERVOUS FOR THURSDAY! :D

10. "for a second i even gave up believen' in prayin'."

"seasons come and go, but i will never change."

i think something what bothers me the most is constancy. for a lot of people, it's change. they get attached to something, someone, and they don't want to let it go. too many memories, too many emotions caught up in something. sometimes i wish i cared enough to feel that way.. but, i absolutely love change. i think it's because i feel that in the long run i won't get hurt with anything. i distance myself from becoming attached to anything mentally because i don't want the pain later on. the only thing that is constant is me though. i tried changing myself for people in the past so many times that i completely lost track of who i was.. it doesn't change the fact that i still have no idea who i am now, and it's SO cliche, but i'll forever say "i'm me". i no longer want people trying to change who i am for their own advantage, or because they think i'll be a better person that way. i think it's like this with a lot of people, that we all put on what we want people to see, but 9 times out of 10 it's not even near a reflection of who we are on the inside. maybe we're all so screwed up we're afraid of what others would think if they saw who we really are. you never know who those people are though. they don't want other people worrying about them, or talking about them, so they keep their real feelings caught up. they put a smile on their face, but on the inside, it's hell. i think in a way, everybody's like this. like everything, it's a different situation for every person. 
<3






until next time, xoxo.