"you ask me to be blameless, but who are you to decide what's right?"

take a listen.

however, i warn: it is pretty amazing.

howdy, folks. sorry, it really has been a while. 8 whole days since i've blogged. the sad part is, i've logged into blogger every single night since the 21. i have so much to say, or to talk about but the words aren't rolling off my tongue like they normally do. writer's block, per say? maybe it's because lately i've actually been happy? it has been a while.

h a p p y . [: 

tonight's blog just sucked. i admit. i'm not enthused reading back over it, but it'll do. tomorrow, i pinky promise on my heart there will be a long blog. the topic i shall cover? not yet known.

jimi hendrix, you are my hero. <3

until next time, xoxo.

"do not pity the dead, harry, pity the living. above all, pity those who live without love." -albus dumbeldore.

well... it has officially been a while since i've written in here. shows you how slack i am with this, or how slack i'm becoming. NO! haha. this entire weekend i've stayed at corey's house since my parents so kindly went to the beach... but i've had a blast. saw harry potter on friday, <3 hung out and helped corey with her absurd spanish project for mrs. timmons, and played so much guitar hero i thought my fingers were going to fall off. and, this afternoon, dirtbike riding time, and rake and run! as stuart and i say, we're going to be the lawn heros! [: it's pretty cool though- going around, to rake up random people's yards; secretly helping people out. i like it.

stuart,me,corey,mills!

i'm not exactly sure what to talk about anymore. i mean, there's so much about myself i could just let go, and vent to only God knows the people that read this. maybe that is what a blog is for sometimes...to talk about your day, tell how things are going with you- an escape. in a way though, sometimes the things that happen can be the only secrets you have left for yourself. the few things that not everybody seems to have figured out, or decided for themselves about you. the little bits and pieces of your everyday life and feelings that are meant to be kept safeguarded. not to be thrown about and disregarded as simple emotions- leaving your heart to be violated by any person who comes along and determines what they see in you. it's not fair to throw yourself into that position, now is it? and here it goes- i quote myself from the very first sentence of this paragraph, "i'm not exactly sure what to talk about anymore." if you just speak from the heart, and don't worry about how others will judge you for who you are, and what you say- it all comes naturally. <3

"words are just words- and without heart, they have no meaning."

-chinese proverb

until next time, xoxo.

"words of life, words of hope- give us strength, help us cope..."

"...in this world, where e'er we roam, ancient words will guide us home. ancient words, ever true- changing me, and changing you. we have come, with open hearts! oh let the ancient words impart."<3

well, today was seriously going really well until about 7:30.. but, i'm pretty sure this entire weekend was great. best one in a whiiiiile, actually. friday night, i helped out at the blue jeans, blue grass, bbq, and oyster thing down at the fine arts center! it was great being able to see aidan, and his cousin "michael"! then, i woke up pretty early saturday to get ready for the cup! -which, i'll have pictures up from that later on! hung out with katie, elizabeth, and curtis and had a blaaaaast. minus the fact that i thought my feet were going to fall off from walking two miles to katie's house- but, alas! cort saved the day. (:

-as i mentioned, though, today was the best. that's probably because i woke up feeling good- i was going to church! well, sunday school/confirmation at 9:30, then convinced zak to stay for the service with me! after that, i just came home, did homework, and basically counted down the hours until i could head back to grace church for some more well needed spiritual healing. YOUTH GROUP & ULTIMATE FRISBEE! <3 even though my team lost... cough. and, CAYA was great.

Psalm 69:3

"I am weary with my crying- my throat is dry; My eyes fail, looking for my God."

so, today in confirmation class (which is the size of about 7 people since my church is rather small) our leader Brian gave us these books. "Doctrine: What Christians Should Believe" by Mark Driscoll & Gerry Breshears is actually really good. we went over the first chapter or so, but then i came home and already read through to the 4th! it's interesting to not only get a second look into the history of the bible but also the people who are in it, and the scripture itself. rather eye opening. grab a copy. <3

until next time, xoxo.

he loves me, he loves me not.

well...remember how i said i was going to florida this weekend? i'm not. accordingly, something would so come up that would prevent me from going. confirmation classes...i can't say that 'isn't important' because it most certainly is. i need to work on putting God first in my life. and as i've been correctly told it isn't that we should live our lives for God...we need to live our lives for ourselves, and by doing that we are living through Christ. at least, that's how i see it.

but, i will say however bummed i may be, i'm now going to the colonial cup (anybody wanna go with me?!) but my parents conveniently only bought two tickets for the tent this year, because they so nicely thought i would just hang with friends! ah, it opens up a whole new drawer of options. also, sundayschool/church/youth on sunday! i always look forward to that.

i had something to go off on about.. what do you know- LOVE! how it's all been too messed around with by hollywood and teenage stars that these days, real love is scarcely anywhere. but, i think i'll save that for tomorrow night- after i've been taught a little more on the subject. i'm a slow learner, as many of you may know; hence the 52 on my algebra test.

now, here i go with the talk about my life.

caroline elizabeth godbold, or better known as biffel (to me) is my best friend. i don't want to just sit here and list off silly things like inside jokes, and everything we always talk about, so, i think i'll just say this: i'd die for this girl. everything for me right now has been tough- tougher than you may think. i don't show hardly anything on the oustide, except laughter and smiles. she can always tell what's wrong with me, in an instant. it's the typical best friend-friendship x69. i mean really, i miss this child when i haven't seen her for 2 hours. imagine having swine flu for two weeks... i love this girl to death. whether she's coming to my house at 7 am to borrow my straightner, or stopping by to see me for 5 minutes outside, anyone could see she's my bestie. example, kevin flum! the two of them have come to see me countless times, and every single time she jumps out the car and runs full on at me, for me to catch her. i'm honestly surprised people haven't asked if we're lesbian before. i never get tired of her, ha. only her habits of eating my breakfast when i'm starving! okay.. one day i'll have a long blog post longer than this about that, but i'm in sociology right now, so i think this is long enough anyway. <3

until next time, xoxo.

"it is not only what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable." -moliere.

i'm finally getting out of camden!

holla for a weekend gettaway to florida with the best friend to watch the one and only gamecocks win!

-today was rather drab, and still is. i'm pretty nervous about something. actually, scared. but instead of dwelling on that, i need to get my mind on happier things.

I FOUND MY IPOD!

...it was in my skirt's pocket from sunday... i thought my sister had stolen it and taken it to dallas with her... hmph. atleast i can go to sleep tonight listening to taylor swift/attack attack! i think this week just miiiight improve, since i'm going to waffle house for breakfast with roob aka robb in the morning, and florida this weekend.

i don't really think i have any type of 'deep subject' to touch on tonight. other than to say that you can really find who your true friends are when the time comes around. you know that no matter what you're going through, they're always there. they might not know what to say at the time, or how to help-but they try. sometimes it really is the thought that counts. as reference to tonight's title... "it is not only what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable." i don't think an explanation is necessary for that one. <3

until next time, xoxo.

"now i see that this is what you mean, when you said you'd be my everything."

blaaaaaaah. i'm so sick and tired of everything going on right now. i knew it was going to be a bad week as soon as my sister headed back to dallas, and when i woke up this morning thinking it was wednesday. algebra 2 is a complete waste of 90 minutes of brain power... every. single. day. along with the stress of school, i haven't washed a single load of clothes in about two weeks now and i'm completely sleep deprived. life right now is really sucking a big one. i need another weekend away, or atleast a few days away, and i'm pretty sure god answered my prayers with that. florida with my one and only. <3


-now, this probably sounds rather ironic coming out of my mouth, but i hate arguing more than anything. it's not the yelling, and the physical demeanor of it all, but how it hurts people. i remember countless times as a child listening through the vents, hearing rash, meaningless words thrown back and forth between my parents, and it scared me. the expression “sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you” is terribly untrue. the fact that just hearing two people going at each other made me cry, goes to show how it can be when you’re experiencing it. whether i’m fighting with my best friend over the silliest idea, or screaming at my dad, i always feel bad after it’s all been said and done. just an apology, or a hug and a kiss can make it all up- but sometimes, wounds may be deeper than you think. literally, you can never fully take back something you’ve said. the damage has been done, and all you can do is repent. all in all, arguing needs to be left to lawyers, and trash mouthed sailors. that’s how i see it.

until next time, xoxo.

"i have an illness, and it's called myself. i am so desperate, i'm getting in over my head."

talking trash.
1. it's not cool. 
2. if you get caught, just admit it!
3. don't do it in the first place.
4. don't try and suck up to their face, then stab them in the back. end of story.
5. we're in high school now, aren't we?


i am a person who does talk. i'm not going to sit here and try and tell you different when we allll know that would be a flat out lie. truth is, though, everybody talks. i'm sorry if you think you're "an exception" but there's no way to deny the fact that every single person has gossiped at least once. the difference for some people is that some will go about their gossiping even if they've been continuously caught- others, like myself, will admit it. honestly, if you think i've said something about you, or you heard i did, just ask. i'm not afraid to tell you whether i did or not, and more than likely i'll apologize because we all say things we don't mean.


...on another note, haha- zak came to visit today! (:

until next time, xoxo.

"'cause i see sparks fly, whenever you smile! get me with those green eyes baby, when the lights go down- give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around."

3 days until courtney comes.
16 days until harry potter premiere.
20 days until thanksgiving break.
52 days until christmas.

^^that's about all i've got to look forward to for right now. after that, i'm going to have to come up with some new dates. today was just normal, non-interesting, boring. best part of the day was probably zoning out in physical science with my headphones in, listening to t-swift playing bubble shooter. i was using my ipod for music, and so i muted my computer. well.. thanks to the great technology on my laptop, it decided to become un-muted at top volume and let everyone know i was playing. only problem was, i was the only one who couldn't hear... according to fellow classmates, the substitute yelled foe me until she realized i couldn't hear her, my computer, or every single other person laughing. so, she walks up to me, and i'm really confused, and i have to pull my headphones out to hear her. it's not until i look around and see everyone laughing that my face turns bright red, and everybody tells me what happened. needless to say, i was soon laughing so hard i almost cried. highlight of day, and every person in that class? i think so.. <3

- i love you taylor swift, but sometimes your love songs only make me realize how much i miss certain people. but it's alright.. not your fault your lyrics perfectly describe teenage love situations..

..oh, and i realized this is like the first post i haven't vented about anything on. i'm almost proud of myself. siiiike, i just don't feel like wasting any more of the time that i should be doing physical science. plus; all the thoughts in my head would take up way more space than there is on this blog.

until next time, xoxo.