bonjour mon amour.

so last night, or really early this morning, however you want to look at it.. i woke up at 4 in a desperate attempt to see the royal wedding. my stupid self drowsily made it down to the den, where i was going cross eyed from sleep deprivation. needless to say, i felt that i would rather fall back asleep in my bed rather than the couch. but, THEIR KISS WAS SO CUTE! thanks to sutusky, my first block watched coverage of it all for about an hour.

haven't posted about mumford and sons lately, so i thought i'd share the CUTEST picture ever of marcus mumford. such a hawtie. <3

hehehehe.

oh my goodness! <333333

netflix now has tons more movies on the little "watch instantly" thing... INCLUDING DIRTY DANCING!

my night is complete.

i've tried, and tried, and tried. rewritten this part of the blog 4 times now, hoping some magical words will form at the tips of my fingers. but, no luck. can't wait for tomorrow night is all i can say. <3

until next time, xoxo.

"seal my heart, and break my pride. i've nowhere to stand, and now nowhere to hide."

i sure do hope i'm still giong to see mumford and sons this summer. seriously. if that's taken away too (since no phone and ipod until the END OF THE SCHOOL YEAR) i will bawl, anb bawl, and bawl.

trying to be optimistic here, not really working.

on another note..

definitely thinking about getting a pixie haircut. well, not thinking. i know i'm going to get it done, i just have to find time when i can make the appointment. so.. i'm THINKING this is SORT of how i want it to look:

<--- okay, i want the front to look like that, aka, sweep across, just a little longer, and preferablly come from the side my hair naturally parts on.

okay, the side --->

can look like that.. SORT OF. but, i want it to cover my ears a little, and not look like a complete boy cut.

i'm incredibly excited, but terrified. if it looks bad, i'll probably weep for days. not even kidding.

"i'm so done with it, i won't go back again."

"Please you have to help me

This is not my true face

If you could see my soul

As I have seen my soul

I could show it to you

It's rotten

It's poison

Help me please."

ihateyouihateyouihateyou. 

you're so selfish, and i'm tired of hearing you whine and complain about every little thing and always degrading me down to nothing. you're such an uncompassionate bitch. you act all upset just so i'll feel bad but it really only makes me angry to see you use your emotions against me. you may be the adult but that doesn't give you the right to be completely self righteous and turn me in to what you are. 

you're my mom, for god's sake.

oh yeah, happy effing easter.mine was nice until you ruined it. 

you ruin everything.

"when i said that i loved you, i meant that i loved you forever."

ahh, i love 80's music. it's just real, raw talent. none of this autotune bizzness like rebecca black. or practically every other top 40 artists.

keep on loving you.

^click!

something about 80's music just makes me SO happy. i've always said this, and gotten queer looks for it, but i wish i grew up as a teenager then. no joke. the music was amaaaazing, and i mean, people partying like it was nobody's business. i also think that's why hot tub time machine is like one of my favoritest movies evvvva.

OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD.

HERE'S WHERE THE EXCITING PART COMES IN.

I'M SO HAPPPPY I CAN'T TAKE THE CAPSLOCK OFF..

POSSIBLY GOING TO SEE MUMFORD & SONS IN ASHEVILLE THIS SUMMER! <3

that would be the BEST 16th birthday present ever. and my life would be officially complete. i'm so obsessed with them, it's not even funny. y'all have seen my blog.. hahaha.

so, today has been nice. i was supposed to go shopping with my mom, but she was called in early this morning for a substitute in cola, since apparently they have school today. but, if i hadn't have come home and gotten on my computer, i never would've found the new 2011 summer tour schedule that apparently was just made. because, before, aka like 2 weeks ago, the closest they were coming to sc was memphis tennessee or new orleans. but, it was nice because i was just listening to a mix of them and the avett brothers with a little mobros thrown in there sitting on my bed, listening to the rain fall. it was very relaxing. had SO much fun with laney yesterday! WHICH, so excited i'm going to see the mobros a the town green thing tomorrow afternoon! very exciting. i love little community get-togethers. all the cute little vendors coming out.

mm, wendy's 99 cents frosties are the best. :D

i sooooo can't wait for the jeep to be ready.. it's been too long. i just want to get my new system put in it, and i'll be content to drive it. i'm so glad i'm in a good mood right now. this is probably the best i've felt in a whiiiiiile.

OH, one other thing. laney and i found that if you turn your car's bass on all the way, and put your ipod's bass booster on, you come out with some sick sound... <3

until next time.

"and i can't feel this pain anymore. and i can't carry on this way; i'm hiding behind false eyes."

asking alexandria's new album isn't too shabby! tis been a while since i've blogged, however. haven't exactly been in the mood for it, i guess.

let's see. my week without technology wasn't all tooooo bad. i hate how that entire week i had so many thoughts about what i could blog, but as soon as i'm back on, they're gone. is it TOO much to ask, that i can remember something so simple as that? apparently so.

prom was awesome.

had a blaaaast dancing! i really can't wait for next year.. <3

back to everything else. i feel like school is speeding by now, and that has it's ups and downs. i don't want to see all of the seniors leave- soon enough, that'll be me graduating onto bigger and muuch better things i hope. but it's still sad, no doubt about that. but exams SUCK too. and i think i'm possibly failing french right now? with 2 a's, 2 b's, 5 c's, and 11 f's, it's very well possible that i'm one of those 11, however i'd like to think not. lady bulldog soccer are undefeated in our region, AGAIN! :D heck yes. i can't wait for swim team this summer.. yeah, yeah. most of y'all are like, what the hell? why aren't you dying to just be out of school.. but, i've been non-athletic for about 2 months now because of my knee, and anytime i see somebody out running it makes me want to trip them. okay, maybe not that dramatic, but i reallyreallyreally wish i could participate in some sort of physical activity that doesn't involve riding a stationary bike, or doing leg lifts. NOT FUN. even if it does mean sitting in a room with coach murphy for 2 hours. hehehe. which, for all of you who claim to be jealous of that. DON'T BE. really, who wants to be hurt..? crazy people, datz who.

went to sleep at 10 last night. what is wrong with me? i am sleepy right now though, sheesh. i should probably pay attention to my wittle internal time clock. psh, who respects those? it's called late nights, and redbull for breakfast. i know that allllllllllll too well.

until next time, xoxo.

"if a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer." -thoreau

for this week i am choosing to live simply. as a result, i am giving up ALL technology for one week.

definitely not something i would've chosen to do on my own, but hey, two A's as test grades will surely pull my english grade up. so, no texting or late night phone calls, no more hulu after homework, or facebook and blogging.

this shall be my last blog until next tuesday!

it's really crazy though, to think how much we alllll rely on our phones, and music. my mom laughs everytime i forget my ipod even if we're just driving to columbia. we all say "ohmagod i'm soooooo bored." or something along those lines. it never really occured to me that i could actually have a conversation with my parents that didn't involve arguing. however, that is tough for me. i won't lie, i don't like the idea of not being able to keep in contact with all of my friends. but i'll suck it up. i think this will definitely be beneficial.. i'll probably actually get all of my homework done in a timely manner, and i'll be somehwat worry free for a week. this gives me some time to do a LOT of much needed thinking. thanks, mrs. rundlett.. never thought you'd be hearing me say that, did you?

i forgot how much i love the 80's...

(i just) died in your arms. <33333

"now let me at the truth, which will refresh my broken mind."

if i am not mistaken, today is day 30. 
and, i have SO much to catch you people up on! 

1. i dyed a pink streak in my hair, but it faded out in less than 2 weeks. so cool, right?

2. i got my prom dress... sort of. it's my beautiful friend helen's miss. gold & black dress... <3

3. actually wore a hat to the cup this year (and it was mistaken for a satellite dish.. not cool, you know who you are.) however, the brace was more popular than one would think! 

the wind blew ALL day.

so, it's been a very long time since i've been on blogger. and right now i'm about to cry. why? because the thunder, lightning, rain and tornado warnings that were floating about. spring break has been GREAT. visited grandparents in beaufort, which was uneventful to say the least. had some great times with ashley, laney, and blake though. ashley's new hair is hawt, btdubbs. went to charleston for the day on friday and had an amazing time. chucktown is the place to be. <3 then, drove up to nc today, which wasn't too bad. i'm just sick and tired of being cramped in the backseat of a volvo for 3 hours at a time. 

oh wow.

well, let's see. i was in the middle of this blog, about forty five minutes ago. and this is what went down:

9:30ish: still skyping zak. thunder and lightning becomes worse, so i get off of the computer.

9:37ish: REALLY bad hail, and deafening wind, fair calls and says they can't come home, and i begin screaming and crying.

9:41: zak calls as i'm frantically trying to make room in the hall closet for myself and buddy.

9:45ish: crying in the hall closet, on the phone with zak, terrified that the end of my life was about to come with the next strike of lightning.

9:50ish: zak just hangs up.. and it's suddenly CRAZY quiet, so i jump out of the closet and i hear this really loud noise..

9:52: huge limb(s) fell on the jeep, by the side porch. i attempt to make a call to 911, and then hang up because i figured my life wasn't in danger. 

10ish: sitting on the floor in the hall with buddy, waiting on my parents to get home.

10:05ish: they get home, and laugh at their traumatized child.

seriously, i've never heard anythinnnng that loud and scary in my life. just more proof that i'm deathly afraid of storms. no getting around that one, anymore. i already got some pictures of the poor jeep, whose hood was CRUSHED. ): 

--------------------

so while i'm sitting here, trying to calm down, the storm rages on outside.. it's really hard concentrating on this right now, let me tell you. i don't know why i'm so scared of storms, or a lot of things for that matter. they're loud, destructive, scary.. they're also beautiful to some people. i think i'm more afraid of death than anything. even the littlest things that shouldn't be scary, i fear because i'm terrified of dying. i don't know what's going to happen after i die. nobody really actually knows what you'll experience once you're dead. i don't want to think about that. but then again, thinking about something that you can't really think about is hard to wrap your mind around. at least for me.. it's like i've trained myself to automatically pick out the things that could cause danger- and to stay away from them. i mean, i'm not complaining, but then again i don't want it to hinder me from doing something fun. i finally got over my fear of roller coasters when i rode them this past fall, but did i really? i conquered it, but that doesn't get over the fact that i'm still terrified of falling off the intimidator to my death. with everything, you have to pull together the little parts to see the big picture. i know storms scare me more than anything really (vacuums second) but death stands overall. however, i don't think death by vacuum is possible.