"i feel like i'm slipping away."

surgery tomorrow, at 6 am! have to be up by 5:15 though.. not sure how well that's going to work...

i'm excited to know that a bunch of my friends have already planned to stop by! :D

why is it that i can go months without even acknowledging you at school, and suddenly it all rushes back to me?

"you are treasured, you are sacred, you are His... you're beautiful, in his eyes."

extreme this sunday was AMAZING. i've never been before, and i really enjoyed it. especially the huge game of ninja, hehe. always lightens the mood on anything. it's great knowing i'm not alone all the time. <3

until next time, xoxo.

"then i heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too."

forgot how much i miss taking pictures.

took this on my way to cali, this past summer.

"and i pray."

whooo, i'm in a great mood! not sarcastic, either.

reasons why, since you asked...:

1. french test was canceled for today, which gives me another night to study.
2. SURGERY TUESDAY!
3. God is just amazing.
4. justin bieber's haircut is sexy.
5. warm weather.
6. florence + the machines.
7. meet the bulldogs tonight, which gives me something to do.
8. having zero homework.
9. hopefully spending the night with bri friday!
10. allan carter is turning 3! <3

[:

blah.blah.blah.

want to hear something funny?

today, somebody told me that i wear my Jesus fish necklace too much, and i just kind of gave them a funny look. i don't wear it to make a fashion statement, or to match my other jewelry (even though i do match silver earrings to go with it..). i wear it because it's a reminder throughout every day that He is always with me, to guide and help me with everything i do. 

as if Jesus will ever go out of style, psh. <3

oh, and i hate when people can't respect personal decisions i make. or, that any of my friends make. i like gauges, so what? i want a tattoo, so what? i want like 5 different piercings, so what? if we're all taught to be original, and unique, why are we being put down when we do so? shout out to ashley with her rasta dreds. <3

"dirty and broken with all of the scars, from all the unspoken words you wanted to say, but you locked away inside your soul."

so, i've had the entire album "in the making" by nevertheless on my ipod for like 1,000 years now. and, i'm just now falling in love with this amazing christian band. their lyrics are fantastic. 

<33333 

well, i can't say everything's been great for me. it is official- i tore my acl, and the inner part of my mcl. surgery is a must, and then 6 months of extensive rehab following. i'm not even the least bit excited. i wish it never happened. clearly.

going to miss that SO much. <3

"and i get carried away, that i'm the only one who feels the way that i do."

it's been almost a month now since a lot has changed for me since the ski trip. and i'm not even exaggerating when i say that things have been the best ever- even with my knee. praying and going to church, and worshipping no longer feels like a responsibility or a chore. it's something i find myself longing to do because it makes me feel better or more confident in something. i no longer doubt what i'm doing, because i feel like i let in God's opinion now instead of questioning it. going back to Grace this morning was refreshing. i prayed about a few things and that's another thing- i used to pray thinking that whatever i pleaded God to let happen would happen instantly. it was always petty things i thought were best for me. one of the wisest things i remember ever being told was to "not pray for courage, but for God to give you a situation in which you can prove how courageous you are". i thought it would be hard.. coming out of the convention center that night, i thought that the happiness would've been a temporary "high" like it seems you get sometimes. but, i didn't doubt it, and it hasn't gone away. i don't feel like i have to be grateful for it either- He loves us always, not just whenever it's convenient like a lot of do these days. for me, knowing this is what keeps me strong in faith. "trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not to your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." proverbs 3:5-6. <3

until next time, xoxo. 

"oh my gosh, did you have a concussion?"

beautiful, <33333

you haaaaaaave to listen to that song. or else get offa dis page. that song is BEAUTIFUL. no doubt about it. it's almost sad, but it makes me smile. here are the lyrics- they're so true and heart spoken that i couldn't bear to not post them... p.s. there is an actual blog entry after the lyrics..

The days will come when you don't have the strength 

When all you hear is you're not worth anything 

Wondering if you ever could be loved 

And if they truly saw your heart they'd see too much 

You're beautiful 

You're beautiful 

You are made so much more than all of this 

You're beautiful 

You're beautiful 

You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His 

You're beautiful 

I'm praying that you have the heart to find 

Cause you are more than what is hurting you tonight 

For all the lies you've held inside so long 

And they are nothing in the shadow of the cross 

You're beautiful 

You're beautiful 

You are made so much more than all of this 

You're beautiful 

You're beautiful 

You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His 

You're beautiful 

Before you ever took a breath 

Long before the world began 

Of all the wonders He possessed 

There was one more precious 

Of all the earth and skys above 

You're the one He madly loves 

Enough to die 

You're beautiful 

You're beautiful 

In His eyes 

You're beautiful 

You were meant for so much more than all of this 

You're beautiful 

You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His 

You're beautiful 

You're beautiful 

You're meant for so much more than all of this 

You're beautiful 

You're beautiful 

You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His.

well, since everybody has been wondering, and apparently rumors are going around about me getting a concussion at soccer.. ha, definitely not true.. basically, i messed up my knee, and i'm going to the doctor tomorrow (pretty positive about that) to get it checked out. walking with crutches is miserable. but, it's better than not being able to walk at all, i guess. going to bethel tonight for the wednesday night service, and i'm suuuure it'll be great! <3 i just want to be back on the field asap. i'm one of those people who is constantly running around doing anything and everything.. plus, no driving.. this is going to blow for however long this lasts. bleeeeeeeh. any who, i don't know what to end with? 

not a very successful blog, but it's whatevs. 

until next time, xoxo.

"in my sight You were just in time, i feel You now- You're by my side."

in all honesty, this has been the best week of my life.

1. i haven't argued any with my parents.

2. i'm honest to God, GENUINELY  happy.

3. if i'm feeling stressed, or anything, i just stop what i'm doing and pray.

4. HE'S LISTENING.

that's the best part of this all. i never even tried to pray before, because i was alll "oh, seriously? this won't work..".

 it took faith. <3

i love going to stuff at bethel, even if it means making zak take a 5 minute shower to come with!

so excited about this weekend! i'm sure it won't compare to last saturday, but it'll be up there in the ranks... (:

friday: stay home with mommy..? <3

saturday: mrs. gold and black with zak and a bunch of other people.

sunday: church, superbowl party at bethel!

this is legitimately the most scattered out blog ever. i'm just happy. literally, so happy, i can barely type dis right hur.

shout out to seeing cody, josh, and wyatt at mickey d's tonight! <3

soccer is making me sore, so it's time for me to text brian back so he can remind me to stretch. even though i'm pretty sure i already remembered to. slack.

congratulations to everybody who made girls jv and varsity soccer!

if you didn't make it- don't give up! determination and hard work is key- believe me, i'd know! <3

until next time, xoxo.