"there is nothing like you."

new favorite song, annnnd band? i think so...

i love you.

so, it's been exactly a week since my last post. which is typical for me! today, i'm not going to write a blog about what i hate in this world, or things that i wish were different even though i can't change them. this weekend, it feels as if a light was turned on, not only in my head, but in my heart. as i'm sitting here typing this, i should be unpacking since i've only recently gotten home,  but i just couldn't. i wanted to type everything out not because i'm going to forget it anytime soon, but because i'm just so happy. i'm bursting with joy. <3333


i'll admit 100% i was so skeptical of going on this retreat, because i come from a completely different christian background. i'm used to the "stand up, sit down, read this, sing that." at the episcopal church. i have nothing against it, and i love it- but it didn't seem like there was much worshipping going on. isn't that what church is for? i never thought i'd see myself just being able to close my eyes, and raise my arms to the Lord, only because i never had before. it's not something you really would ever see in a church with mostly elderly women reading the lessons every sunday. on saturday night, (1.29.11) i was honestly scared going into the convention center. travis had informed me people would be speaking in tongue, and 'falling out' and i pretty much laughed it off. travis, the only thing i can say to that, is you told me it wasn't all that common. i know i was entirely surprised, and just freaked out a bit in the beginning to be completely honest. i kept praying, thinking, well, i'm here. i'm not wasting this chance i have right in front of me. i can't even begin to explain how i started to feel.. at first i was wondering why i couldn't just be overtaken by God like so many others were at that point, but i didn't give up. it was hard for me to tell if the way i was feeling was just my reaction to everything around me, but i figured it couldn't be- i had been blocking out everything without even realizing it. at one point, i remember looking up and hearing absolutely nothing.. nothing but my voice, praying. i can't say that God spoke to me last night, and gave me any answers- but i wasn't particularly asking him anything. i was just trying to find him. i was touched by our Lord and no words could explain what i was feeling. i was in awe, and i still am. i'm not giving this up for anything on this earth. i want to feel this way forever, and to do that, i just have to pray. i've finally god Him in my life, and i feel as if things are simply beginning to fall into place. not all at once, because everything takes time, and there is stuff i have to fix, and i have to work for more that i wasn't before. now, i know i have the strength to do it.

Philippians 4:13- "i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

i just want to take a moment and thank some people here, who in particular helped me this weekend, obviously in no particular order:

corey blanks, joey wilson, carrie and tina stokes, bri wieneke, cody lane, andrew mills, brittany bradley, josh bradley, brian goff, christian jones, maggie ward, travis ham, kaleigh ward, matthew wilson, bill ogle, and special thanks to bunk heffner, and javin proctor. <333333333333

i can't wait to continue with all of this now, and keep up this relationship with Christ, and thanks to all of you and all of my other friends, i know i've got the support i need.

until next time, xoxo.